My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
