Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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