I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize