just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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