He is such a slut. More and more my type.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
