I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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