I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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