HIV tests are more positive than that guy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
