Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
