If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
