you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
