Its about making memories worth repressing
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
