I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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