Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
