so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
