I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
