I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Verdict: uncircumcised.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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