if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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