so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
