So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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