I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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