Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
