Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
