we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize