he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
