AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
