just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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