I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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