We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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