Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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