I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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