Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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