Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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