what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize