Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
