dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
