Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
