So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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