you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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