We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
