fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
