If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
