He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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