Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
