if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
