Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
