My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She is in my trunk
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
