You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
