I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
