she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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