STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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