I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
