Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize