just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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