I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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