Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
