so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
